I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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