I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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