If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
