In America we eat man semen.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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