why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
