I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
