Need sex. Gaining weight.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
