Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
