I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
