Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
