we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
