I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
