I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
