new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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