i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
