She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
