I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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