I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
