I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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