Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
