I'm sorry my penis didn't work
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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