yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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