found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
