She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
