u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
