Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
