Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
