atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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