This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
