RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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