you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
