my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
