im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
