If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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