We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
