so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
