Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
