Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
