trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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