btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
