Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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