he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
