I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
