oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
as a side note pls kill me
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
