with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
