Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
All the doctor said was why
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
