It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I did not marry a roomba.
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