Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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