Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
