I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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