I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
