so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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