If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
