you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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