I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
