Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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