Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
