She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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