therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Randomize
