We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
