we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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