About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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