Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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